You Don't Get It
by Michaelalizzy
Summary: What is one hell of a butler to do when Ciel refuses to leave his room? He obviously upset about something but what is it? Written as a gift for a wonderful, wonderful person.
1. Chapter 1

**Stuff happened over the past week. And… I needed to talk to somebody. No, that's wrong… I needed to **_**rant**_** to somebody. I remembered in one of my stories, I mentioned being upset and a whole bunch of people jumped up, offering to help. That was a couple weeks ago. Desperately wishing these offers still remained, I took one reviewer up on it. I ranted, she listened and she advised. Knowing that people would spend their time doing that for me is amazing. So… this story is for you Kanigye… I wasn't sure how to thank you because I'm really bad with words… But um… thanks… God, I'm such an awkward turtle.**

Ciel hadn't left his room in days, no... _weeks._ Despite being a demon, he normally ate mortal food but lately, he had been refusing anything offered or brought to him. He claimed he was sick and couldn't attend school or even leave his bedroom. Sebastian knew demons couldn't get sick but when Ciel brought their contract into play, Sebastian had no choice but to obey.

Ciel also refused to see anyone. He didn't want to see his friends who came to see if they could help. He didn't want to see his classmates who came to help him with his missed school work. He especially didn't want to see Sebastian.

The elder demon, who was obligated to help, came in to see Ciel multiple times throughout the day. In the beginning, Ciel would just order his butler out, who would then have to comply though he was often seen with a look a kicked kitten might have after he was brutally sent away.

But that didn't stop him. Sebastian continued trying to get his little master to speak to him, to tell him what's wrong. Ciel eventually gave up on sending his persistent butler away and allowed him to stay.

Though his attempts to coax the problem out of the boy failed miserable, Sebastian would never give up. He stopped asking what's wrong and began just talking. He'd tell Ciel about what he had done so far that day and what he planned to do. He'd tell about the ridiculous newspaper headlines and the horribly hilarious screw-ups the humans made on a daily basis. He would just talk and talk and he always watched Ciel, who was usually curled up in a ball on his bed, with no movement other than his slow, sometimes shaky breaths he took.

Gaining confidence, and running out of things to say, Sebastian began coming into Ciel's room and sitting on the boy's bed quietly, slowly stroking his hair. Ciel though rather tense at first, reluctantly began to relax, though never leaving the loose fetal position, which couldn't be comfortable for days on end.

One day however, that changed. Sebastian, who was about to leave, made to get up, only to have his wrist grabbed with surprising desperation. Sebastian looked back in shock, then slowly sat back down.

Ciel didn't offer Sebastian an explanation, nor did he even turn to look at his demon, instead stayed with his back to him. The only movement he gave was a slight turn of his head, further into his pillows. He put Sebastian's hand back on his hair and a faint pink tinged his cheeks. The faint frown that had decorated his face for multiple weeks now, twitch upwards slightly, before falling back down.

"D-Don't leave," Ciel whimpered pathetically.

"…Is that an order?"

With his blush slightly deepening and his usual haughty exterior completely falling to pieces, Ciel whimpered again, "No."

Why Sebastian asked this remains a mystery. Because even though it wasn't an order, he stayed by the side of his little master. Perhaps he desired to see who the boy wanted. Did Ciel want his butler?

Or did Ciel want Sebastian?

Time seemed to stretch between the two. Seconds became minutes and minutes became hours. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing. In reality, Sebastian was only there for an extra ten minutes or so, but to Ciel, and himself for that matter, it seemed like ten hours.

However, after these ten minutes/ hours were up, Sebastian had planned on leaving again. Though he wanted more than anything to stay, he couldn't if he intended on staying on schedule. He was about to tell his 'inner butler' exactly where to shove his schedule but common sense overruled; if he wanted to keep helping Ciel in the most competent way possible, a schedule was needed. No matter how much they both hated it.

Though the elder hadn't moved yet, Ciel, as if he could sense his butler's intentions, sat up, spun around and leapt into Sebastian's arms, in one swift movement. Sebastian, despite being shocked beyond belief, responded positively and hugged his master close. Ciel hadn't opened up or even moved in days and he certainly never seemed to desire obvious physical attention or affection like this, especially in front of his demon. But Sebastian was not about to ruin this moment.

Rubbing Ciel's back with small comforting movements, Sebastian rocked back and forth while sitting there. Ciel hugged Sebastian tighter and buried his face in his butler's chest. And with this, for the first time in centuries, Ciel began to cry.

"Y-Young mas-"Sebastian's question was cut off by a particularly loud, tormented sob.

"S-Se-Se-SEBASTIAN!" the cry ripped itself from Ciel's throat.

Sebastian, truly startled by his master's behavior, decided to shut up then and there. Sitting there, rocking back and forth, with his master in his lap and his schedule out the window was probably the greatest help he could offer at the moment.

Ciel repeated his butler's name over and over, with varying degrees of desperation, anguish and trust. Clawing at Sebastian's back in a futile attempt to find something to hold on to, to keep him anchored, Ciel's helpless frame shook and trembled.

Sebastian adjusted himself and Ciel so they were sitting in the middle of the bed, the younger resting between the elder's thighs and leaning his damp face against his chest. Slowly, but much too quickly for Sebastian's taste, the bedroom began to darken. The sunlight entering through the windows started to fade, as Ciel began to calm down. His small fingers finally found the neck of Sebastian's shirt and he continually tugged on it. His sobs slowed slightly. He shuddered occasionally and these shudders shook Sebastian as well.

Only when the young once-earl had gotten to the weeping point rather than the sobbing point did Sebastian try to speak to him again, "Young master? It's okay, I promise, it'll be alright." He didn't ask what was wrong, all Ciel needed to know at this point was that it would be okay.

"No, it won't be Sebastian. You don't get it," Ciel accused, voice hoarse from his seemingly endless hours of crying. He looked up and glared halfheartedly at his raven-haired butler, "You don't get it and you never will."

Hugging his young charge tighter, Sebastian chose his words carefully, "You're right, I don't get it. Would you care to explain?"

Ciel, who had lost forgotten about his pride, buried his face back into Sebastian and shrugged, "You still wouldn't get it."

Taking the younger's face in his hands, Sebastian smirked, "I've been alive longer than you. Try me."

Wide blue eyes looked up into caring red ones. The boy shook with one last small sob before nodding, "Okay."


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm embarrassed. I'll freely admit that. I'm stupid, I'm ashamed and I'm terrible. Lol, I had no idea what to continue this story with and I never really thought of anything that would upset Ciel this much. I kind of meant for this to be a one-chapter thing but... well, thanks to angel stalker for getting me to realize that I'm horrible, leaving you guys with Ciel that upset! And now I'm all embarrassed and stuff. I'm going to go hide in my corner now… XD**

Wide blue eyes looked up into caring red ones. The boy shook with one last small sob before nodding, "Okay."

Despite what he said, it took a moment for Ciel to get the words from his head to his mouth. During this moment, he buried his face back into Sebastian, burning up, but not particularly caring. The elder didn't press, continuing his rocking back and forth. It had been decades since he had to comfort anyone, he didn't spend time with many people other than Ciel and Ciel was _always_ strong. Sometimes Ciel was even stronger than Sebastian himself! The raven would sometimes look at his master, and tell himself that if the younger could do it, then he could do it.

Never had he thought the younger maybe _couldn't_ do it. The thought of the young boy becoming upset and breaking down was so alien, it had never ever crossed Sebastian's mind.

But now that the two were in this situation, Sebastian could have shot himself. He had been so stupid.

"Sebastian, I miss them."

His name being spoken jerked the elder out of his thoughts, "Miss who?"

"Everyone." The word was barely spoken, just below a whisper but loud enough for a demon to hear it. "Everyone. Soma. Agni. Finny. Bard. Mey-Rin. Lizzie. Auntie. Mother. Father. Everyone." Ciel clenched his fists, fighting back the tears that were stinging the back of his eyes. Seconds later, he forced himself to relax, accidently rubbing his cheek against his butler's shirt. He silently counted his breaths, but only made it to three before his tears began flowing and his shoulders began shaking.

"I'm sorry, Ciel."

The boy's eyes flashed open at the use of his first name. _Never_ before had he been referred to by his butler like this, _ever._ The humans at school called him that, his teachers, his friends, but _never_ Sebastian. But he didn't dwell on the happy feeling it gave him for very long before it was pushed out of his mind to make room for more sadness.

"S- Seb- Sebast- t- tian… I- I- I want them… so- so badly."

"I know, Ciel, I know."

There was his name again, spoken in the voice that sent tingles down his back every time. He hugged Sebastian tighter and whispered, "N- No, you don't."

The elder simply nodded. No one wanted to hear his sob story of his childhood when his parents abused him daily, and every time they beat him, how he would run off into the forest behind their house and curl up in a tree somewhere to just sit on his own for hours on end, tending his wounds and fighting back tears. He wouldn't tell Ciel about all the nights he was thrown out of his house, only to be dragged back the next morning as his father needed him to use as a punching bag. Not a word would escape his lips about how he'd fly off so many times just to be found again. And never would he mention the day, the day when his parents were murdered before his eyes. He wouldn't relive the pain that had gripped at his heart and the longing that visited him to this day. He wouldn't mention how much he wanted to go back and see them once more, to tell them that he loved them, despite all the things they had done. He wouldn't tell of how much it hurt.

A single tear surprised Sebastian. A tear of his own. The first one he had shed in years. And that tear told him so much.

"Ciel, perhaps I understand more than you realize. Or, then again, perhaps I don't. But I'm sorry nonetheless. I wish I could do more to help."

Sebastian carefully lied himself down before laying Ciel next to him, keeping his arms wrapped around the younger. He let the other cry, not saying anything, but not necessarily not thinking anything. In fact, his mind was spinning at five times the pace it normally did. He needed to find something, _anything_ to make Ciel feel better about this. For him to stay upset over something for _weeks_ meant something needed to be done.

Now… if only Sebastian could think of something.

**I'm just digging myself into a deeper hole by the sentence. Any ideas on what Sebastian could do to cheer up poor Ciel?**


End file.
